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"I come to Sunday Friends because
it helps me buy things for the house and
school supplies for my children." — Sunday Friends
Mom
The Change in Marta
Since February 2005, Marta and three generations of her family have attended 42 Sunday Friends programs. Marta is a gregarious character with a huge smile.
However, until a few months ago, it seemed that every program’s end-of-the-day wrap-up included stories about Marta. Marta had a keen knack for “scamming”. It came across as a compulsion. She would regularly apply her cleverness to finding loopholes in our systems and devising schemes to get more for less. Each program, we had to assign Marta a special Shopping Guide, prepared for difficult shoppers, to ensure that she did not manage to walk away with more merchandise than she had earned. We had to check in with each other frequently to share information to prevent her scams from working. When caught, Marta would always laugh, shrug and continue participating in the program. Apparently, she believed that it didn’t hurt to try and it didn’t hurt to lose. Cheating was just a way of life.
Sunday Friends’ leaders worked together to help Marta find a better way to meet her needs. We endeavored to consistently redirect Marta’s efforts and energy towards appropriate ways to get what she wanted while continuing to love and value her.
There was not a dramatic moment when everything changed with Marta. We just noticed recently that the Marta stories are now completely different – and told with joy. The scams seem to have ended. Marta is now known for her appreciative manner and her full participation – she asks the most questions in Nutrition Class, for instance. Her handwritten letters, which used to be attempts to score tickets for minimal words, are now thoughtful and full of gratitude.
Marta is a big-hearted, wonderful woman who was operating in the world in the only way that had previously worked for her. Through Sunday Friends, she has found a better way. We believe that Marta is also better prepared to teach her children and grandchildren how to greatly improve their chance of making it in life.
"Together, a book of memories has been instilled
in my children that will last a lifetime." — Sunday Friends
Mom
Alberto and the Baby Carriage
We
first met Alberto four years ago when his family moved into the
homeless shelter where we were running our Sunday Friends program at
the time.
Alberto,
age 12, took to our program right away. Each Sunday, as soon as we
arrived, Alberto would run to greet us, anxious to help unload the van
and set up the program. Throughout every program, he would participate
fully in juicing, cooking, writing and art projects. He was often the
first to volunteer for cleanup. He enthusiastically joined in the
educational games, usually helping little ones to practice their
counting or English.
We
watched Alberto amass large numbers of tickets, yet week after week he
would pass up the shopping excursion to the Treasure Chest. He was
saving. We all wondered what he might be saving for. A stereo system?
Sports equipment?
Ebony,
a tired-looking, slow-moving, very pregnant single mom of three young
children, was also a resident of the shelter in which we ran our
program. Ebony was of no relation to Alberto, a different race, in
fact. We learned what Alberto was saving his tickets for the day Ebony
had her baby.
Alberto
went shopping in the Treasure Chest that day. He spent his entire
savings of tickets to "buy" a deluxe baby carriage for Ebony and her
new baby girl. Ebony froze with amazement then sobbed with gratitude.
In fact, you could hardly find a dry eye among any of us that day.
When
we asked Alberto why he chose to spend all of his tickets to help
Ebony, he said simply, "Because she needed it, she had no other way to
get one and I could get her one."
We
all learned that day what humble empowerment looks like.
Raphael's
Hands
Eight-year-old
Raphael entered our program as a full-blown kleptomaniac. When he
entered a room, his hands would grab for anything available to tuck
under his shirt, even before his eyes met ours.
After
a month and a half of observing Sunday Friends from a distance,
Raphael's behavior began to change. He started participating in our
activities and earning tickets for what he wanted. He took pride in
serving as a bilingual translator and a Spanish teacher in parts of our
program.
At
Christmas-time, we appointed Raphael the "Guardian" of our
child-decorated Christmas tree. His job was to spread the word that the
ornaments were not to be harmed or taken. He responded to our trust and
the supportive environment we had created for him. The tree was safe in
his hands.
Over
time, Raphael's grabbing habit slowed then ceased altogether. After his
family moved out of the shelter, they continued to return for our
program and to contribute in a variety of ways. It seemed to us that
Raphael became a child for the first time, naturally curious,
enthusiastic, and more settled.
Even
today, Raphael and his sisters continue to visit Sunday Friends in our
new location and to join in our activities. His face always carries a
wide smile and his hands have not even hinted at stealing anything from
us.
Keily and Her Family
At the age of eleven, Keily was headed down a dangerous path. Her life revolved around drugs, staying out late, being accepted by a gang and treating her family with disdain.
“Me and my family were always arguing all the time. I had a lot of friends that told me what to do and I listened to them. When my parents asked me for a favor I would ignore them and walk away. My parents saw no future on me.”
Now at age fifteen, Keily’s life is very different. She is earning A’s and B’s in high school, working toward her goal of attending college.
The difference? Two years ago, under threat of being held back in school, Keily decided to change her life and her family started participating with Sunday Friends. She credits Sunday Friends with keeping her on track.
“Sunday Friends has played in those changes because it has taught me to go moving in the right direction, to not do drugs, to be much more friendly to people and even about nutrition.”
In fact, Keily, her mother Maria and her seventeen year old sister Dalia have missed only three Sunday Friends programs in the last two years. In each six-hour program, they attend classes, write dozens of thank you letters to our donors, make gifts for convalescent home residents, prepare and serve healthy foods and participate in the take-down and cleanup of the facilities. In return, they receive “tickets” which they exchange for much-needed school supplies, toiletries and other basic necessities.
The program activities may seem simple. But the effect can be profound. Sunday Friends gives participants such as Keily the opportunity to learn important life skills while spending quality time with their families. The ability to earn things they need instead of seeking handouts instills confidence and self-reliance. Sunday Friends’ activity leaders model good communication and giving back to the community while providing warm encouragement to each participant. Above all, Sunday Friends creates a sense of community that binds together participants and gives them a safe, wholesome place to call their own.
The results can be long-lasting.
“Sunday Friends also has even helped me to get along with my own family--to never look back and to be who I am and not what other people expect me to be, but who I feel comfortable of being. Without Sunday Friends I think I would still be lost in the world I lived before.”
The impact has been felt by Keily’s entire family. Her mother, Maria, writes:
“Sunday Friends has changed my life because I am able to spend quality time with my children. I am able to sit and talk to them about different things that I’ve learned at the Program. I’ve learned to have more patience with my children. I’ve also learned to get ahead in life and to have a better future.”
And her sister, Dalia, writes:
“The program has helped us to grow and to be happy. They help us learn how to work harder. Sunday Friends has given our family faith and hope that things will be better. Sunday Friends has helped my family dedicate some time to be tighter.”
Maria, Dalia and Keily are an extraordinary family. But they are not the only ones. We work with about sixty extraordinary families in each program. Every one of these families has made the decision to learn, earn, grow and give back to their community through Sunday Friends.
What has made all of this possible? The support of the Sunday Friends community. Contributions to Sunday Friends change lives. Just ask Keily:
“A year ago I saw my counselor and he asked: hey, so I see a big future on you; what do you want to become? I said a lawyer and he walked away smiling. In fact, I walked to stage when I graduated eighth grade this year, what I never thought of doing. My parents don’t argue with me and when they ask me for a favor I do it. They are proud of me and they hope to see me like this all the time. My family and I are inseparable now. I’m Keily Manzano and this is how my life and family changed in the last few years.”
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